Respect women's rights, or their redneck chainsaw wielding cousins will come after you

Texas Chainsaw 3D:

Story:

Heather Sawyer inherits her grandmother's estate. What she doesn't know is that her cousin, an aggressively hostile man, is living in the basement.

Review:

What do you get when you combine a decade spanning franchise with a prequel-esque storyline? A movie that outsells The Hobbit in America. Odd, though, that such a poorly written, poorly acted, and overall poorly conceived movie is doing so well.

If you expect me to say, "just kidding," you will be sorely disappointed.

What I liked:

1. Accidental/intentional exploitation of rednecks as comic relief.

The one thing I can appreciate about any movie is taking something funny and making it outright amusing. For a movie that is roughly an hour and a half, Texas Chainsaw does provide some pretty good humour at the expense of rednecks all around the United States of America. You can basically tell this movie was made by a democratic American.

What I didn't like:

1. Everything else.

The soundtrack is cheesy, the script was more or less typically horrible 90's slasher dialogue, Leatherface isn't as scary as he was in the other films, and who decided that casting Alexandra Daddario as the protagonist was a good idea?

Everything about this movie screams mediocrity. Even the actors seemed to be hastily speeding through their lines just so their characters could get killed off.

Who I recommend Texas Chainsaw to:

Nobody. No one would be stoned, drunk, or otherwise intoxicated enough to be able to watch this thinking it's a good movie.