Dark Castle Entertainment needs to cease to exist

I try not to be too much of an aggressive critic, but sometimes movies deserve to be known as horrid creations. The Apparition is one of those, summoned by Dark Castle Entertainment to wreak havoc upon the film industry. this movie is the epitome of horrid. It is so bad that it makes Uwe Boll's videogame adaptations look amazing. So, without further ado, this is my review:

The Apparition:

Story:

A group of paranormal psychologists summon a powerful entity that feeds on people's brainwaves.

Review:

The Bad:

1. Dark Castle Entertainment and Ashley Greene. I vehemently hate Dark Castle because of their awful horror films that somehow make it to theatres and are not released directly as crappy bargain bin DVDs. As for Ashley Green, she obviously doesn't understand that her almost nonexistent acting is extremely noticeable, especially when she's not a vampire in a horrible vampire film series called Twilight. They both tie for first.

2. Horribly wooden acting by the cast.

3. Predictable jump scares with horrible buildup and execution.

4. People are not as stupid as Everyone at Dark Castle Entertainment seems to think. Every single movie done by this horrible film company consists of stupid people being beyond idiotic in situations where others would be able to solve the problem in less than a minute.

5. Too many "oh my God the lights turned off," or "oh my god that object moved by itself," moments.

6. They took a good story concept and ruined it by focusing on two people instead of the global consequences.

7. Incredibly unrealistic dialogue.

The Good:

1. The movie wasn't long enough to cause me to gouge my eyes out. And (Spoiler alert) everyone dies of their own stupidity.

Swedish vampires are the laziest vampires ever!

Let The Right One In:

Story:

Oskar befriends his new neighbor Eli, who might not be all she seems to be.

Review:

Let The Right One In is one of those films that perfectly blend romance and horror together. It's difficult to find a movie that better compliments the two opposing genres and manages to combine them as near flawlessly as Let The Right One In does.

By the way, this is an actual romantic vampire film. Not Twilight, where all the vampires are sparkly little wimps.

A lot of Let The Right One In happens in the dialogue, especially between Oskar and Eli, as they become closer and closer and their connection grows. Thankfully the script writers did an amazing job writing a good story that perfectly blends into the rawness of what occurs in Let The Right One In.

There isn't a lot of action, or at least not as much action as the American adaptation, Let Me In, would make you believe there to be. Let The Right One In actually favours dialogue, emotional development, and story over the need to have big action moments. As such, it is evident that the filmmakers chose to take their time crafting the film to near perfection, ensuring that this would be a worthwhile vampire film to see (yes I'm still saying Twilight is bad).

Directing is also one of the highlights, and it's great that Tomas Alfredson made sure everyone knew what to do and when to do it. Kare Hedebrant and Lina Leandersson were specifically chosen for the parts of Oskar and Eli, and they performed amazingly.

Overall, Let The Right One In is one of those amazing films that won't occur again anytime soon. Twilight (and its sequels) isn't what a romantic vampire film is, Let The Right One In is what a romantic vampire film is.

This isn't a Hannibal movie? No wai

Shelter:

Story:

A forensic psychologist must find out how a patient's personalities are those of murder victims.

Review:

Despite giving away a big portion of the story in its first half, Shelter isn't actually too bad for a supernatural mystery/thriller film. The story does build up intrigue and plot as it gets closer and closer to the ending. The camera work is hit or miss, as well as the few special effects. Thankfully the dialogue is almost 100% centred around the plot/story. I enjoyed it, despite a few problems that the film had.

On a rather unfortunate note, though Shelter is a fast paced movie, that pace doesn't come without incredibly noticeable holes in the plot. And that does mean that sometimes you'll watch parts of the movie and think "how did they figure that out just from that?". That is probably the most unenjoyable part of the movie, other than Julianne Moore in her portrayal as the forensic psychologist. Seriously, she is the Kristen Stewart of older people. Horrible actress.

Other than that, Shelter is a decent film. An intriguing film with an interesting concept that I thought was creatively original. Other than the concept, there isn't really anything special about Shelter, nor is there anything overly significant. It's just one of those decent movies someone would watch to tide them over until a better movie came out.

Movie Picks for Christmas

People tend to like watching Christmas related movies for the holidays. Or Twilight.

Here are my picks for movies to watch in case you want some holiday films to watch but can't make it to the theater due to MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SNOW:

1. It's A Wonderful Life

Awesomely heart warming movie. Go watch it with the loved ones. Seriously. Go!

2. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Director Henry Selick and Tim Burton teamed up to make this animated film about the Pumpkin King saving Christmas. It's a good film to watch on either Halloween or Christmas.

3.  A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas.

Yes I put this in and am serious about it. Despite the frequency that drugs are joked about and the frequency in which non-kid friendly material was on screen or mentioned, Harold & Kumar 3 had a very Christmas-flavored theme, just with bongs, coke, babies on various narcotics, and slight nudity.

4. Toy Story

"But wait, this isn't a Christmas movie!"

But it totally is. It's awesome and the story ends at Christmas.

Seriously it's Toy Story.

5. Die Hard 2

Mcclane's antics consisted of running around and shooting stuff while yelling and swearing at an airport during the holidays. Why am I putting this here? Because it's Die Hard and it's an awesome Christmas movie to watch while drinking a beer or two.

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If you are brave enough to journey through the snow and the cold to get to the theater to watch a movie, then Rise of the Guardians is in theaters and is an awesome movie to watch.

For reals, go watch it.

Christmas Christmas Christmas movieeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Rise of the Guardians:

Story: Jack Frost joins the likes of Santa, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and the Sandman against the evil Pitch.

Review: Much like other holiday movies for the family, Rise of the Guardians is one of those heart warming films that will make you leave the theater with a smile on your face. A timeless classic with no subtle political or social commentary.

The story line is great and for a fantasy/adventure film makes sense, yet doesn't conform to typical standards by being restricted to the enjoyment of children. Rise of the Guardians is a movie for those that like adventure, and even has slight similarities to movies such as The Avengers.

Overall I greatly enjoyed Rise of the Guardians. Great animation, enthusiastically involved cast, and some rather emotional moments, coupled with an amazing soundtrack and very well placed humorous lines.

Definitely watch this if you're looking for a great holiday movie.

Mirrors = Soulless reflection of a horror movie?

Mirrors:

Story:

A security guard and his family are attacked and pursued by a vicious spirit that lives in mirrors.

Review:

For a horror film that had a unique idea, Mirrors certainly fell flat.

I don't know if it was the dull directing, many tiny gaps, or just overall lack of buildup in the scary moments, but Mirrors definitely wasn't scary. With that said, Mirrors did have one of Keifer Sutherland's best performances since 24. You could actually understand his character and how his character was suffering.

On an additional plus side, you get to see a new supernatural concept that is a refreshing break from the tedious and repetitive "hey look behind you there's a ghost!" formula that's been so popular with directors since the late 2000's.

Besides that, the majority of the cast came off as colorless and soulless, which is unfortunate, because that could have saved Mirrors.

Overall, Mirrors could have been better had more effort been invested in it from everyone involved.

I can't recommend Mirrors to anyone.

Life of 3.14

Life Of Pi:

Story:

Pi, a man of multiple religions, tells a struggling writer the story of his greatest adventure.

Review:

Before I start this review, I am going to say that I did not read the book before seeing the movie.

That being said, Life of Pi is a visual and emotional satisfactory pleaser. It's one of those brilliant movies that is all story, all visual, and all an adventure. It's also one of those rare movies that actually properly uses 3D effects, making you feel like the screen is actually a glass sheet separating you from what's going on behind the glass sheet.

I loved it and this makes me an even bigger fan of director Ang Lee for doing what he had to to make this movie great.

One of the best parts about Life of Pi is that the only majorly known actor is Irrfan Khan. There is no overshadowing because there are no other major actors than the narrator.

The story sweeps you along and keeps you going, despite there only being two characters for most of it, only one of them being human. It is one of those tearjerking movies that almost cause tears to fall down your face if they don't actually fall. Every actor performs admirably and realistically, providing enough for this emotional journey to be downright amazing. Even the CGI tiger is realistic enough that you feel like there's an actual tiger on the screen.

My favorite performance, though, would have to be Irrfan Khan. He does such an amazing job narrating that I felt like he was directly narrating the story to the audience instead of the writer.

I can't really say enough about the visuals, they just swept me into Pi's epic story of tragedy, bonding, and discovery.

I recommend this to anyone who loves those emotional movies that use a lot of effects or just are visually amazing (eg. Big Fish or James and the Giant Peach).

Awesome movie to watch.